


Falling Angel (A Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Part Oneshot)

by QuietAlias



Category: Call of Duty, modern warfare
Genre: Call of Duty - Freeform, Cassidy MacMillian - Freeform, F/M, John "Soap" MacTavish - Freeform, QuietAlias - Freeform, modern warfare - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:45:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietAlias/pseuds/QuietAlias
Summary: Getting fed up with all the missteps, wrong doings and, in her mind, bad leadership, Cassidy MacMillian finds herself questioning everything they stood for. All the calls she's followed by them and now those calls are getting them f**ked. Still his niece and his fiance, she remains by their side. Still following family, and the love of her life - does her life mean much?But what happens doesn't going according to plan. Does Soap end up mourning his consequences? Price and Soap go one way, Yuri and Cassidy another.The game changed.





	1. Prologue

Staring directly in front of me, moving with every bump in the road, I huff under my breath. Soap and Price being in a separate car from me is a Godsend. I’m beyond frustrated with the calls these two have been making. Look where it’s landed us, no more Pave-Low, Nikolai’s leg is completely shot. What did we get in return? We learned who Volk is. That is it. Nothing more, nothing less. I glance over to the shaky ally next to me, probably suffocating in my anger.

This is all I’ve been able to be lately, except for a few moments. Disavowed, the entire team I helped that man make completely vanquished. Soap having that huge liability smack in the middle of his chest, no matter how much I warn him. Those stitches and bandages aren’t magic, they’re not going to be able to keep with all the things we’ve been doing. Price and I could deal with all of this, but no, Soap had a vendetta. Wonder where he got that from.

The cars finally come to a halt at our safe house and I waste no time jumping from the back of the jeep. I just want to go inside and lie down for a little while. Not even take a nap, just to be by myself. I hear rapid footsteps making their way towards me, I know who it is. “Just don’t even with me right now, either of you.”

“We can’t waste time,” Price walks next to me, “we got what we needed.”

“What we needed?” I stop to look at him, “What we needed was Nikolai in fighting shape. What we needed was that Pave-Low. Not a fucking moron named Volk, someone they would’ve figured out on their own no doubt. What we need now is a fucking miracle for us to be able to do a fucking thing anymore! What the fuck are we going to do now, huh? For once, if one of you two would listen to me, maybe we wouldn’t continuously fuck ourselves.”

“The Americans wouldn’t have gotten that information without us,” Price tries to stare me down.

“That fucking stare doesn’t work on a fucking adult, moron.” I push pass him to get into the house. “By the fucking way,” I turn to look at him, “that wasn’t the fucking point you gave this morning.”

“Things change.”

“Yeah? Like my fucking loyalty to your and Soap’s leadership.”

“Excuse me?” Soap finally chimes in.

I turn swiftly on my heels, “We keep doing whatever pops in to your guys’ heads as a ‘good idea’ is going to get us all killed. Or, the way it’s been going for you, _Uncle_ Price, everyone else is going to die. With John there under your wing, that means you two are going to somehow miraculously live while the rest of us fucking die. But, for the greater good, right?”

“You are completely out of line!” Soap snaps at me.

“Oh and there it fucking is! On his side as fucking always! Fuck your fiancé, right? Fuck me and everything I have to say. Well, fuck both of you.”

“Cassidy,” Price sternly walks towards me, “you need to stop talking right now.”

“No, fucking face it, “I march up to him, “this whole fucking feud between you and Makarov is the same as Zakhaev. Gaz and Griggs paid their fucking price for that mistake. So far, Ghost and Roach are the only ones on this little endeavor. I’m probably going to be next, but hey,” I turn around to go to my room, “at least you’ll have you’re revenge.” I slam the door.


	2. Planning the End [Part 1]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sandman tip gives them Makarov's next known location. Unsure of it as before, Cassidy shuts down her own intuition, believing in their plan for once. 
> 
> Cassidy, you betray yourself.

I roll over on my side, tears flooding down my face, attempting to drown me. I am usually not an angry person, but I have no choice at this point. Suggestions and sweetness doesn’t get me any credit. What they say goes? No, we are disavowed together, we plan this together. They seem to forget that.

Sighing, I try to think of all the reasons of why I’m still here. Why I haven’t thrown my ring and just hid like my father wanted me to. It’s obvious, they don’t have another medic without me. At least, not one who’s been completely trained. They have discount ones, sure, but they only know so much. No one knew how to set Nikolai’s leg properly, so that’s good.

Then there’s Soap chest, one wrong move and he’s dead. No if, ands or buts. Without a doubt, he would perish. Though, he doesn’t seem to care. Sometimes, I don’t think he even cares that I care. It’s not a thought I like to dwell on, but that’s how I feel. I know he loves me and why he’s so fueled for this. Ghost and Roach are gone, our family. Hell, I want Makarov dead for the same fucking reason, but there’s a limit. Suicide missions are a bad idea. You die and it doesn’t work. Then you’ve lost and if we lose, the whole world loses. Something their sight fails to see.

The door creaks open, it’s not just my room, it’s also Soap’s. We’re engaged, go figure. He doesn’t say anything when he first enters, trying to make it look like he came in for something, rather than try to talk to me. I just keep my eyes fixed on my gun against the wall, avoiding initiating anything. I feel the bed crease as he sits down behind me. “Do you love me?” The question makes my heart attempt to hang itself with my intestines.

I sit up, “What are you talking about?”

“The way it’s been lately, it just feels like you don’t love me anymore. I mean, look what happened twenty or so minutes ago. I still love you with all my heart, but I feel it’s one-sided sometimes.”

“Because my bitching about your safety means I hate you, right?” I’m still mad and I can’t turn it off.

“See? It’s shit like that, that makes me question it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I stand up, “I’m just a little pissed about losing resources and such. Excuse me for being a little callous!” The shuffling in the other room stops for a moment, picking back up a few rests later.

He stands up, turning around to face me, “You think I’m not? You think I expected all of this to go bad? Do you think I woke up this morning and thought, hmm, I hope this shit goes south today? Are you fucking listening to yourself?”

Pursing my lips, I shake my head. “No, I don’t think you did that. But the point of the matter is it did.”

“And I’m as pissed as you,” he crosses his arms, “I just feel at this point in time, the last thing we all should be doing is turning on each other.”

“I know that,” I sit back down, holding my head in my hands.

Soap lets out a heavy sigh, walking over so he can sit next to me. He wraps his arm tightly around me and it helps the anger ease. “Look, I love you, I love you more than I could ever express, I need you. Not just for what we’re doing. I need you for your love, for your friendship, for me to remain sane.”

“I love you too, I’m just frustrated with all that’s going on,” I love him, I love him more than life itself. I question it sometimes, but I don’t think I ever meant the thoughts. 

“Thank you, sometimes I need to hear it.”

“Yeah,” I lean into him, “so do I.”

He pulls me down as he falls backwards, we just lie together, staring at the roof. When we do this, it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. We’re both angry, more at the circumstances than at each other. Can you blame us, though? The world is literally trying to kill us. Everyone we knew and loves, people who know who we really are, turning their backs on us like we were strangers. If that doesn’t piss you off, then there’s something wrong with you.

The water begins to simmer as we listen to each other breathe. This isn’t the first time we’ve been at odds, we have and we’ve learned to get through it. Sometimes love isn’t as strong a feeling as anger, hate, frustration. We’ve learned this and we know how to cope with it. “Do you remember the first time this has happened?”

“Yeah,” My mind wanders, “too vividly.” The first and last time I said I didn’t love him anymore. Something I never meant, nor ever will mean.

“Not for that reason, I’d kill to go back.”

“When life made sense, but that’s gone now.” I sit up, “I don’t want to think about that. It’s just… It’s too soon, y’know?” I can still hear Ghost and Roach’s voices in the back of my head.

“They’re luckier than we are,” Soap looks at me, “they don’t have to deal with the entire world resting on their shoulders.”

“That’s one way to think of it, but I’d rather suffer than just die. I was born to protect the innocent. I’m failing to do it at this point in time, though, that’s not the point. I don’t want to go, being a soldier you’d think I would come to terms with the thought, but I haven’t. I know there’s a possibility, but I’m not as okay with the thought as you and Price are.”

“I’ve been on death’s doorstep too many times for me to care anymore,” He grabs my hand, “besides, I have you.”

“I suppose,” the door opens, Price standing in the doorway.

“Are you two quite done? We have things to plan out. Sandman gave me the next location Makarov will be at. We don’t have much time to pull a plan together.” He walks away.

Soap and I exchange glances before standing up to join the rest in the living room, if that’s what it was. Hard to tell with war-ravaged buildings. We sit down across from Price, “Alright, where are we going?”

“Hotel Lustwig,” Price slides a map on to the table. The place of the hotel is circled on the map.

“ _If_ Makarov is going to be there, can you imagine the security? How are we going to slip in with the army he has?” I pull the map towards Soap and I.

“Like we’ve done before,” Price puts his hands on the table, “quietly and quickly. Is that okay with you, Cassidy? Or should we change plans?”

“Fuck off,” I glare at him, “even if I did, would you even fucking care?”

“Not really because I’m trying to get shit done, not to tiptoe around every little thing.”

“Tiptoe?” I stand up, “Is that what you call fucking us over? Tiptoe? I try to look at other angles, not just the I’m some old fuck too obsessed revenge to see passed my own fucking nose!”

“Oh, fucking come off it, you fucking brat.”

“Both of you shut the fuck up!” Nikolai hollers at the both of us, “You two are driving me fucking crazy. Just shut the fuck up and focus on what we’re trying to do. Not on this drama you two are creating. Holy shit, you two are so fucking frustrating!”

“Da, I have to agree,” Yuri speaks up, “I don’t know you as well as Nikolai does, but I’m getting annoyed as well.”

Price and I stare each other down, biting our tongues. Soap pulls my arm to sit me down again. “As we were doing,” he looks at the map, “how?”

Price sits down, “There’s a small window we have here, near the water. If we’re quick enough, there should be no issues. We’ll have the back up of Nikolai’s men, as well as the resistance. So, if things do go south, we can find a way to improvise. Yuri and Soap should go to the building across the street--.”

“No,” I shake my head, “Yuri and I will go to that building, you two need to go directly to him. We can cover any escape he might make, but he would be focusing on the building across the street if you or Soap takes it. Think about it, he hates you more than any of us.”

The room is silent and Yuri makes a nervous shift. I don’t think anyone noticed, so I ignore it for now. “It makes sense,” Soap looks at Price.

“Fine,” he crosses his arms, “Yuri and Cassidy will be providing sniper support from across the way. Kamarov, will work on the behind the scenes, while Soap and I find our way into the hotel. We don’t have much time for this, so we need to get going.”

Soap and I go back into their room and I get a sharp pain in my stomach. I groan holding my stomach as I fall on to the bed. “ _Mo leannan_ ,” he crouches beside me, “are you okay?” _[My sweetheart]_

“Yeah,” I sit up, “I haven’t had that happen since…” My brain locates back to General Shepherd’s office, “the split.”

“The split?”

“When Shepherd split us,” I stood up, “when I went to suit up the same thing happened and I fell into Ghost.”

“That’s odd,” Soap begins to grab supplies.

“Don’t you see what that means?”

“That when you get nervous, your stomach hurts.”

“No,” I grab his arms, “this happened when we were about to finish Zakhaev. Remember, Griggs, Gaz, Price, you and I were talking about getting drinks when it was all over with. I got the same pain.”

“Which you get when you’re nervous,” he goes back to packing.

“You don’t believe this is some kind of omen? At all?”

“No,” he turns to look at me, “you’re just too superstitious. You and your dad both are, throwing salt over your shoulder when you knock it over.”

I stifle myself, Soap never believed in anything like this. God, yes, but ‘intuition’ and ‘feelings’ don’t measure up to facts in his mind. It does for me, that stomach pain meant something, it meant something before. Or maybe it didn’t and I’m just nervous. Shaking my head, “You’re right, I’m just nervous.”

Soap smiles at me, kissing my cheek. “Everything will be fine,” he holds my face, “I know it.”


	3. When It All Goes South [Part Two]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And suddenly, with the metal and the heat, blood will spill.

Yuri and I sit within the church, we still got a good while before Makarov gets here. He keeps squirming. I never fully did trust Yuri, my gut said something was wrong. Though, if my gut feeling meant anything to me, I would’ve protested for a different plan more. But here we are. I must ignore what I feel, it doesn’t matter. “You okay, mate?” I glance to Yuri.

“Yes,” he looks at me, “I’m fine, are you okay?”

“As far as I know,” I look through the scope that’s going to end this all, “I’m just peachy.”

“That’s good, hopefully when this is over, we can all get along again.”

I can’t help but snicker, “You don’t even know the half of what we’ve been through, yet you think you have a say with us not getting along? Hush, child.”

“Excuse me?”

“When this is over,” I look at him, “who says I’m keeping in contact with you? When this is over and we finally clear our names, Soap and I are done.”

“Done?” He questions, “Really?”

“Yes,” I sit back down, “we are going to finally get married and settle down. I’m sick of this shooting bullshit. I’m almost thirty and I’d rather be done with all of this.”

“Wait, you and Soap are not married?”

“No, why?”

“He refers to you as his wife, said you were already married.”

“Well, we aren’t. Not yet. If he thinks the end of the world means he can forgo a wedding,” I glare across the street, “he better think again.”

“Maybe he’s ready to be married without all the party.”

“Too fucking bad, he’s not taking a wedding away from me. No certificate, legally means we are not married. Though, it is sweet he calls me his wife,” I smile like an idiot, I’m sure.

“I hope this goes well for you two then,” he mockingly toasts his canteen, “to your soon to be marriage.”

I shake my head, “To my soon to be marriage.”

_[The time of arrival]_

“There’s the fucker,” I follow him with my sight, “he’s entering the garage as we speak.”

“Right on schedule,” Price says over the net.

“Has anyone heard from Kamarov?” Yuri asks.

“No, he’s probably busy,” Price’s answer is sharp. Almost as if he’s berating Yuri for giving me something to stress over.

“Idiot forgot to switch it on most likely,” Soap chuckles

“Moving on,” Price shines his light at the top of the building, “you can see us, right?”

“Aye,” I watch them descend, “you guys ready for this?”

“I’ve been ready for years,” Soap mutters.

We help the two of them eliminate the hostiles on the balcony. The two of them finish off the rest in the room. I can hear the silence on their end, silence isn’t good. “I was wondering when you guys were going to start being a pain in my ass,” no. That’s not him.

“What is that?” Price asks, I frantically look for him. He’s referring to the elevator.

“What the fuck?” Yuri gets ready to shoot.

“Hold your fire,” I order.

“Ah, Yuri, my friend, still having a hard time listening to order?”

“Friend?” My eyes feel like they’re on fire as I stare at him.

“I almost feel bad about not being able to see your face, Yuri.”

“Kamarov?” Soap stares at the elevator.

“I am sorry.”

With that, this red flashing emits through not only where they are, but the room we’re in. I stand up, “You mother… Get out!” I shove him through the hole in the wall, following after. The heat from the blast hits my back with debris. I slam into the way we got in, a construction like ramp. I don’t hear myself hit the floor, but I sure as hell felt it. That sharp pain in my stomach is back, I get it, I should’ve listened to myself.

I’ve been blown out of windows, helicopters and houses before. This is nothing new. I prop myself on my elbows to get out of the line of fire, but that pain sharpens. I scream, pushing the wreckage off me. My eyes catch it and my mind stops. The entire planet stops for a moment, the shooting, the chaos – frozen. I grab the piece of rebar protruding from my abdomen. I try to pull it, but my hand slips on the blood. I try again, it doesn’t move.

I attempt to sit up, but I can’t move. It’s connected to something under me, I can’t get up. Time starts again as Price and Soap make their way over. “C’mon! We gotta go!” Price pulls on one arm and Soap pulls on the other.

Letting out a blood curdling scream, they stop. “Fucking stop!” I have tears streaming my cheeks, “I can’t fucking move, I’m pinned to something.”

The color from Soap’s face finally fades as he sees them same piece of rebar, “N-no,” he gets on his knees trying to pull it, “what do we do?!”

Price is covering us, “Cassidy, what do we do?!”

I’m hyperventilating as I try to think, I don’t know what to do. Yuri is helping Price, I will deal with him later. I inhale sharply, “Just go.”

“Go?” Soap looks over his shoulder, “what are you talking about?”

I grit my teeth, “There’s nothing you can do,” I catch his eyes, “you guys need to go, while you still can. We all die now and its game over.”

“I-I can’t- “Soap stops himself, “I can’t leave you.”

“Think of something, we’re not leaving!” Price calls at me.

“The best for this situation?!” I scream at them.

“Anything but leaving you!”

“Then give me a sidearm, leave and let me go!” I try to plead with Soap, “I’m sorry, there’s not a way out of it this time. You guys need to leave. I’m out.” I’m sobbing, I don’t want to die.

“Then we’re doing this my way!” Price puts his sidearm away. He puts an arm under my shoulders and knees. He starts tearing me up, literally. Soap’s screaming at him to stop, my own voice is too busy screaming bloody murder. Not listening, he gets me free from the rebar. More blood starts flowing, he passes me to Soap. “We need to go!”

Soap’s running as he’s carrying me, and I can’t stop crying. It hurts more than anything I’ve ever experienced. My hands over my stomach, trying to stop the blood, I’m trying to catch my breath. “Y-you’re going to be okay,” Soap slams his shoulder into a door to get it open.

I can’t say anything, I can’t stop myself from hysterically sobbing. I’m not even sure what’s going on. I know we’re trying to get a way, but my mind is stuck on the fact that I just got pulled off a piece of fucking pipe. “W-when everything is okay for a moment,” I force out, “we are not wasting supplies on me.”

“What are you saying then?” Soap takes this moment in cover to look at me.

“Soap, look at us. Look at me. I’m going to die, I’m the closest thing we had to a doctor. I’m just eyeing it and I already know it’s a loss cause. I’m not wasting your supplies on me. You’d be putting it on a dead body.”

“We can figure this out,” he’s running again, “we always do. You always do.”

“John…” I mutter, but he’s not listening to me right now. I hear them call out SUV’s, hostiles with rocket launchers, we just got passed a helo. My eyes try to find landmarks so I can understand where we are. I notice the basketball court, we’re not too far. As we get closer to the gate, resistance comes flooding out to cover us. They push Soap and I through the gate first, walking into the building. He sets me down on a table.

Price is looks at us, Soap’s hand on where the blood is pouring from. “Cassidy, what do we do?”

I begin to get lightheaded, “Leave me, is what you need to do.”

“For the last fucking time,” Price looks at me sharply, “we are not doing that.”

“Then continue to carry me until I bleed out,” I don’t look at Soap, “Do you not hear what’s going on outside or how many things are following us at the moment? What do you want me to do?”

Soap picks me to carry me down a set of stairs, into the basement. He sets me down on the table, “Do what you would do if it was me.”

“That’s not possible, I can’t see anything.”

Grabbing my backpack, he starts pulling out pieces of equipment. Glancing between me and a scalpel, “Tell me what to do.”

“John, you can’t be—“

“Now, Cassidy!”

My mind begins to rack for how to go about this. How do I explain what to do to someone who has no concept of medical procedures? I know that look, he’s completely serious. Price stands on the other side of me, waiting for me to walk them through a delicate operation. I’m not going to win this argument either, you’d think on my deathbed, they’d at least take what I had to say.

Price lifts up my shirt to right under my breasts, not wanting to see anything above it. I sigh, knowing I had to do this. I have to explain a surgery that isn’t going to work, to people who won’t understand it. “Sanitize the scalpel.”


	4. Surgery Fever [Part Three]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At home surgery is always a bad idea.

Soap’s hand is shaking, “W-what do I do first?”

“Price, you need to stand by Soap, grab one of the square pieces of gauze.” I take the gauze from his hand and place is firmly against the abrasion on my stomach. “Carefully put me on my side, Yuri, you know how to suture, so suture in the entry point.”

Yuri looks at from the door, “W-what?”

“Get over here and help before I kill you for being dead weight,” Price growls at him. Cautiously, he rolls me on my side.

“Disinfect the area before you start, or I’ll get an infection,” I feel the liquid against my back, burning into my skin. “If I don’t die first, anyway.”

“Cassidy, that isn’t helping.” Soap snaps.

I wince as I feel the prickly sting of the needle sewing up my skin. “When you finish, bandage how I bandage Soap’s chest, before I wrap the gauze around his torso.”

The three of them put me on my back, “Now what?” Price looks at the gaping wound staring them in the face.

“Alright,” I look directly at Soap, “take the scalpel and make an incision from here,” I place my finger right below my sternum, “to here, right before my pelvis.”

“H-how do I do that?” Soap is still shaking.

“Confidently, if you shake like that, you’re not going to make a precise cut. It’s easier than it looks, you’ll know how much force you need. Trust me.”

Soap looks away from me, setting the tip of the blade beside my finger. He inhales, my eyes water when he starts slicing me down the abdomen. “Oh God.”

“Price, take those clamps, put one on each flap of skin.”

He does as he’s told, “I’m getting nauseous…”

“Alright, Soap, you’ve got gloves on. Kind of… move things slightly, see if you can see anything important torn.”

Flinching, Soap sticks his hands inside me. I’m trying so hard not to groan, but I have no morphine, no pain killers at all. “I- How do I know if something’s torn?”

“My intestines,” I grimace, “They’re not torn?”

“I don’t think so, but…”

I’m starting to lose consciousness, “Is everything where it should be?”

“Yes,” Yuri is looking me over, “everything is in place.”

“Th…” My vision is fading.

“What, Cassidy?” Soap grabs my hand.

“Yur… stitch…”

“Alright,” Price shoves the suture supplies into Yuri’s hands.

“See? Everything is alright, Cassidy.” Soap removes his gloves. “Cassidy?”

**[Soap’s POV]**

“Cassidy?” I place my hand under her cheek, “Jesus Christ!” I check her pulse, it’s very light. “P-Price, her pulse.”

Price looks at me as he and Yuri wrap her up, “We need to get her somewhere safe, she’s lost a lot of blood. But there’s no more blood loss… Hopefully.”

I pick Cassidy up, looking at the only exit I have. We rush out of the room, into one of the vehicles the Resistance had set up for us. I climb in the back with Cassidy, she’s so pale. I can’t hear her breathe. “God, why didn’t I listen to her?”

“We couldn’t do anything different,” Price slams his fist into Yuri’s face, knocking him out. “This rat would’ve been there in every plan we had.”

“She’s fucking dying,” I feel my tears stream my cheeks, “what are we going to do?”

“She’s going to be fine, all we have to do is lay low for a while until she comes to. Then, we figure out from there.”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Stop talking like that.”

I bite my tongue as I look down at her, blood streaking her face. The skin around her eyes are becoming a pale pink, contrasting against her very flushed skin. Patting my chest, I think of all the times she’s had to stitch us up or set something. She made it look so easy, but when the time came for us to do it, we were all terrified. “D-do we tell Mac?”

Price is quiet for a moment, “No,” it’s sharp, “we can’t. He’ll try to send someone for her, blowing our cover and blowing his for helping us. We only contact him about if she… well, we’re not contacting him.”

Shaking my head, I go back to looking at my soon to be wife. My hand on her stomach just to feel her breathe, I don’t know what’d do if she stopped, but it was slightly calming knowing she was. For the most part, we’ve distanced ourselves from where Makarov thinks we went, not knowing we left undetected.

My attention finally turns to Yuri, slumped over in the passenger’s seat. I’m going to kill that little fucker as soon as I can. This is all his fault, he never even told us he knew Makarov on a personal level. Was he working with him? I don’t think so, he wouldn’t have been in danger if he was. Still, Cassidy is like this because of him. He should’ve been the one to get this, not her.

What are we going to do? She’s not going to be able to fight, her injury is direr than mine. We can’t just leave her behind with Nikolai, if they get found, how is he going to protect her? He can’t even walk now. All the thoughts are flooding to the forefront of my brain. Between Cassidy and the President of Russia being kidnapped, it sends my brain into overload.

Makarov, the fucking bastard, he’s going to turn Europe into glass. He’s injured Cassidy beyond anything I’ve ever seen. She was in better shape after the bridge. All he must do is die and the entire world is better for it. How have the stupid fucking yanks not caught him by now? Our excuse is that we’re in hiding and have limited resources. What’s theirs?

As I rest my hand on her stomach, I remember the conversation we had earlier. About the pain she had. Maybe if I had taken it seriously, I would’ve protested to stay with Yuri. Keep her close to Price, but I didn’t. She didn’t believe in the plan, she wanted to do this differently and she’s the one who gets hurt? Why not me? Why not Price? Why the fuck not Yuri? She was the last person to deserve this.

I’m shook from my thoughts as we pull up to our back-up safe house. I get out of the car, cradling Cassidy close to my chest. Price leaves Yuri in the vehicle and walks with up to the door. He opens the door, Nikolai turning the computer chair. “ _O мой Бог_ ,” he looks at us, “what the fuck happened? Is she dead?!” _[Oh, my God.]_

“No,” I simply utter as I lay her on the couch, “Yuri’s about to be.”

“What?” Nikolai asks, “What are you talking about?”

Price slams his fist into the wall next to Nikolai, “Did you know about Makarov knowing who he was? Personally?”

Nikolai seemed offended by the comment, “I did, but didn’t.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“I knew he knew who Makarov was, told me he worked under him back in his Spetsnaz days. I didn’t know Makarov personally knew who he was. I just thought he was a grunt or something.”

“Well, the fucker is passed outside. I’m giving him thirty seconds to explain to me why I shouldn’t kill him.”

“Is she okay?”

I focus on what he said for a second, rather than ignoring both of them out right. “I don’t know, she’s hurt. Really badly.”

The wheels from the computer chair sound as he scoots over to us using his good leg, “What happened?”

“We found out about Yuri through Makarov tapping our coms. Which he probably got when he captured Kamarov. There was a slight interaction, both buildings start flashing, the bastard laced them both with C4. Price and I get out fine, make our way over. Cassidy was just lying there on floor, I didn’t see it at first. Price and I tried to get her up, but we couldn’t…”

Nikolai looks at me, “Why?”

I lift up her shirt, showing the horror show of gauze, dried blood and bandages. “When she landed, she landed on a piece of rebar.”

Nikolai tears up slightly, turning his head away from me to hide it. “How did you get her free?”

“I had to,” Price finally chimes in, “I had to get her out of there. I just… I just pulled until she was free.”

I shut my eyes tightly, hearing her screaming again. “We got to the Resistance, she told us how to go about fixing it. She passed out and I can’t get her to come to.”

“We should let her rest,” Nikolai points to the back of the underground bunker, “we have one bed, we should put her there. Until we know which way this is going.”

“What do you mean by that?” Price angrily looks at him.

“I’m just going to play Devil’s Advocate for a minute,” he looks him dead in the eye, “she might die. If she doesn’t we need to be prepared for that. We can’t just ignore the hippo.”

“I think you mean elephant,” I mutter.

“Da, elephant. There’s a chance, we need to see how it goes. Whether you want to accept it or not.”

I pick her up before another argument starts to take her where she can rest. Hearing it out loud made me feel sick. I set her down and I just collapse onto the floor next to her. Staring at her, I can remember everything. Our entire lives together, building to entwine them since our first meeting. The seven years we’ve shared, dwindling away. We’re supposed to spend far more years together.

The tears spill from my eyes as I remember everything she wanted. She’s the one who convinced me to bring in Simon and Gary. She’s the one who got me through the bridge. She’s the one who picked up every broken piece of me and put me back together. She is my strength. She wanted a big wedding, kids, for us to just pack up and leave the Military around this time. So many years ago. Yet, here we are. Disavowed, trying to save the world again.


	5. Fever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Six am, the next day and Cassidy is still the same.

I wake up, lying on the couch I set Cassidy on when we first got here. I didn’t fall asleep here. Panicked, I run to the room where left her. A few of Nikolai’s men were hooking her up to a heart monitor, another one changing her bandages. “We didn’t want to wake you,” Price’s voice comes from the corner.

Looking over at her, they have more supplies than we did when I fell asleep. “How did they get this?”

“When we were stitching you up,” he lights his cigar, “the soldiers remaining at the courtyard salvaged all they could. It’s been in that trunk Nikolai’s been lugging around.”

“Has she come to yet?”

“No,” he exhales, “we’ve tried everything we could. She’s still passed out.”

I check my watch, six am the next day. I make my way over to her as they exit the room, sitting down on the chair someone had brought in. Taking her hand, I squeeze it lightly. Trying to let her know that I’m here and I need her to wake up. Her hand feels hot. I press the back of my wrist against her forehead, she feels like a furnace. “She’s really hot.”

“Not the time for those remarks,” Price sounds disgusted.

“No, you idiot,” I grab his arm, “she feels like she has a fever.”

“That is not good,” Yuri’s voice comes from behind me, “that means she has infection.”

Within an instance, I have the fucker against the wall. My hand wrapped tightly, pressing my palm into his windpipe. “You,” I press harder until I hear him choking, “this is your fault.”

He scratches at my arm as he tries to get free, gargling speech trying to protest. “Soap,” Price tries to move me.

“What?” I don’t look at him, I stare directly at Yuri. I want to see the life drain out of him. It’s odd, I wanted to scream at this fucker from the moment I heard Makarov say his name, but it isn’t there. The hatred is, the will to kill him is, though odd I’m so calm about it.

“I already,” he pulls me, “talked to him, let him explain himself.”

The panic in his eyes, “Why?”

“Because he has an explanation!” Price yanks my arm.

I let go of the little weasel, his slides down the wall trying to find air. He looks up at me, “Are you fucking crazy?!”

Glancing back at Cassidy, “Give me a reason not to kill you.”

“I haven’t spoken to that maniac since the Airport Massacre. Who do you think helped the American’s get so close?” He’s slowly getting up, his hands placed firmly against the wall.

“That’s not good enough.”

“He shot me and left me for dead,” he turns to look at me, “he found out I was helping the Americans and got rid of me for betraying him. I survived long enough for the EMTs to get there. They saved me.”

“Oh, good for you,” I stare him down, “you lived. You got real medical attention. Isn’t that just so lucky?” Grabbing shoulders, I wrench him over to Cassidy.  “What does she get, though?”

“Soap—“

I push his face closer to her, “What does she get?!”

“I’m sorry!” Yuri breaks away from me, “I didn’t even know he knew I was alive. I didn’t plan on getting any of you hurt.”

“But you did,” my anger runs through my veins, “she’s hurt. She hasn’t woken up. You and your cowardice, thinking I’d feel sorry because you’ve been left for dead. You still knew Makarov, something that should’ve been said at the beginning. You didn’t, though, you didn’t so you could cover your own arse.”

“It isn’t like that,” he pleads, “if I could trade places with her, I would, but I cannot.”

The anger I have only dissipates as an alarm from the heart monitor rings through the room. “No!” Spinning around on my heels, the flatline scrolling through the screen.

Price charges the defibrillator, “Three, two, one, clear!” He shocks her once, but nothing happens. Her heart is still stopped. “Three, two, one, clear!” Again, flatline. “Three, two, one, clear!” Nothing.

I can’t find any breaths in my lungs, standing by helplessly as they try reviving Cassidy. After the fifth time, the beeps begin again. Price sets the paddles down, charged in case it happened again. He looks at me, “Let’s not focus on killing the boy right now, let’s focus on her.”

“That little—“

“You’ll regret it if she doesn’t make it.”

The words cut through me, the realization of this finally hitting me. He’s accepted she might die, but I haven’t. I can’t. I sit down next to her again, her hand back in mine. The room filling with deafening silence. Yuri slinks out of the room, not saying a word. Price places his hand on my shoulder tightly, before retreating all the same. Leaning against the wall, I squeeze her hand again.

I find it hard to recount the ideas she had for our wedding, I feel ashamed having to dig for something she dreamt of. She wanted it blue and white, like our rings. She wanted it big, too, even if she didn’t have enough people to invite. She wanted a big ball gown for her dress, something to make her feel like a Princess, even just for that one day. Her bouquet of violets, bluebells and pink roses, decorated with baby’s breath. She wanted the whole nine yards. I don’t know why she did, but if it made her happy, I was happy.

Recitation of our big milestones in our relationship, our first kiss, first time, first everything. Our kiss took the breath right out of me, leaving my mind racing with the thought of her feeling the same way I did. Our first time, not as romantic as one would want, we found each other in an infirmary room, still bandaged up from the bridge. The first time she saw me, scrawny and all, finding the humor in my name. The first time I saw her, I was struck by her beauty. The fiery hair she had, filling out like a lion’s mane. The emeralds in her eyes, the smile she had as she and Gaz poked fun at me. Her laughter echoing in the back of my mind.

I shake my head, I don’t want to hear it like that. I want to hear it from her again, not memories. Pulling her up carefully, I search her face for any emotion. A nose wrinkle, a shift in dream – something. Price’s footsteps rejoin the room, pushing Nikolai with him. I fight the tears as I run my fingers through her hair, “She doesn’t like lying on her hair,” my throat barely croaks.

They don’t say anything as I push her hair to hang over her left shoulder, never her right. I set her back down, “I’m sure she appreciates that,” Nikolai tries to get me to smile.

“Did you two need something?”

“You should eat something,” Price taps an MRE on my shoulder, “you need to keep your strength.”

I push the container away, “I’m not hungry.”

“Friend--,” Nikolai is cut off.

“I said I’m not hungry!” I rip the MRE from Price’s hand, throwing it against the wall. “What part of it is hard to understand? Am I speaking a different language?”

Nikolai sighs, “Would you like us to leave?”

“Please.”

He pats Price’s arm, “Come, he needs to be alone.”

“You think you’re the only one who gets to be upset?” Price asks.

“Excuse me?”

“Maybe some of us would like to sit by her too, or are we not allowed to?”

I stand quickly, sending the chair on its back. “The way you’ve been treating her?” I tower over him, “Little brat? Annoying? You think you even deserve to sit by her?”

“Don’t push your luck, lad.”

“No, how about you remember the last conversation you had with her. You called her a little brat, and that’s how you’ve been treating her for days. You don’t deserve to even be in the same room with her right now.”

“I’ve been in her life longer than you have, mate, so I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Price shoves me back, “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“That little rat fuck should’ve been a rug by the time I woke up! Instead, you’re protecting him? If she doesn’t wake up, it’s that piece of shit is the reason behind it. But, no, let us all rejoice in the fact that he didn’t know any better himself. Fucking shove it.”

“Guys, we shouldn’t do this here.” Nikolai tries to break the fight, but it’s not happening.

“We still need him when she wakes up!”

“Oh! Now you fully believe she’s going to wake up? Didn’t you just use her not waking up to protect Yuri?”

“You ungrateful— “

“Could you guys please shut the fuck up?” My heart skips a beat, her voice finally being heard again.

“Cassidy,” I fall to my knees to be at her eye level.

Her eyes scan over to my face, smiling lightly. “Did you fix my hair?”

“Of course, I did,” I entwine my fingers with hers.

“Thank you,” her free hand rests on my arm, “I couldn’t see.”

“W-what?” Nikolai looks at us.

“I kept walking,” she shifts, “but I couldn’t see what I was doing. It was dark and no one was around. Then I could see. I saw you two yelling at each other, and I couldn’t understand what was being said.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, darling, but I’m so glad you’re awake.” I gently kiss her, remembering she has a fever. “What do we do about your fever?”

Cassidy’s eyebrows scrunch, “I have a fever?”

“Yes,” Price pats her leg, “I high one.”

She sighs heavily, “Do we still have my backpack?”

I reach under the bed, where I had kicked it the night before. “What did you want from it?”

“I should have antibiotics in there,” her hand fishes around, a bottle rattling as she pulls her hand back. “Have my bandages been changed?”

“This morning,” Yuri peeks in from the doorway, “there’s no ooze.”

Cassidy’s attention goes fully to the door, “Why is he alive?”

Price groans, “We can discuss it when you’re feeling a bit better.”

She rolls her eyes, slowly turning on her side. Focusing on me, she dusts off my shoulder, “You just can’t stay clean, can you?”

I let out a light chuckle, “Didn’t notice it.”

“You never could.”


End file.
